Engaging Men and Boys

Prevention

The Ohio Men’s Action Network is up, running, and expanding rapidly!

Join men and women from across Ohio! Become involved in preventing intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and other types of violence and oppression. Take the pledge. It’s free!

Are you interested in becoming a member of the Ohio Men’s Action Network Steering Committee? Contact Engaging Men Coordinator, Glenn Harris at glennh@odvn.org or Rebecca Cline at rebeccac@odvn.org for more information. First, you must be a member of the Ohio Men’s Action Network. So, join today and become involved.

Read the OHMAN Evaluation Report to learn more about the what and how of engaging men in violence prevention work in Ohio.

Engaging Men and Boys in Preventing Violence:

Below are some resources for engaging men that may be useful as you think about how you might become involved:

What Makes A Good Male Ally?

During the Men’s Pre-workshop in 2002 This Far By Faith conference, women participants were asked to describe one thing that would make a “good male ally” against domestic violence. The male participants appreciated this opportunity to listen to women and practice not interrupting. Below are the responses to this question.

A Man is a Good Ally When:

He is able to take direction and leadership in domestic violence work from women.
He understands that women’s need to be empowered is to a threat to his strength as a man, but rather an additional strength.
He listens to women and has a willingness to “call out” other men on their issues.
He does not try to confine the women he is supporting or define the problems that they share with him.
He is willing to take a stand on the issue of domestic violence by being vocal about it.
He changes his perception so that he knows that women who remain in relationships with batterers are not stupid.
He helps other men in positions of authority to realize that when children of single mothers have behavioral problems, it doesn’t mean that they “need a man in the house.” This type of thinking is often encountered in male school principals, and it pressures women and children to stay in abusive situations.
He models behavior for his friends and other men by letting others see his example.
He works to help unburden other men of the misconception that women who speak honestly about male violence are “attacking men.”
He is willing to hear women’s reality “full out” because he realizes that there are aspects of this reality that he will not know about.
He is not struggling with his own manhood and does not need to prove that he’s a man.
He is a non-judgmental partner; implying equality and respect.
He understands that women know that all men are not batterers.
He is developing groups where men can rally against domestic violence actively and publicly denounce it.
He doesn’t assume that another man can’t be a batterer because of his high position in a church, government, organization, etc.
He has done his personal work to become aware of his own issues relating to the issue of domestic violence.
He listens but doesn’t try to “fix” the problem by himself.

To download a printable version of “What Makes A Good Male Ally?” click here.

Copyright © 2002 by the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence. Reprinted from NYS OPDV Bulletin Volume 14, Number 2, Page 12, Fall 2002 with permission of the Black Church and Domestic Violence Institute, Spring 2002, Volume 2, Issue 1. Reprinted here with permission of the Faith Trust Institute.

10 Things Men Can Do To End Men’s Violence Against Women

Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance, and male privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against women.
Examine and challenge our individual sexism and the role that we play in supporting men who are abusive.
Recognize and stop colluding with other men by getting out of our socially defined roles, and take a stance to end violence against women.
Remember that our silence is affirming. When we choose not to speak out against men’s violence, we are supporting it.
Educate and re-educate our sons and other young men about our responsibility in ending men’s violence against women.
“Break out of the man box”- Challenge traditional images of manhood that stop us from actively taking a stand to end violence against women.
Accept and own our responsibility that violence against women will not end until men become part of the solution to end it. We must take an active role in creating a cultural and social shift that no longer tolerates violence against women.
Stop supporting the notion that men’s violence against women is due to mental illness, lack of anger management skills, chemical dependency, stress, etc. Violence against women is rooted in the historic oppression of women and the outgrowth of the socialization of men.
Take responsibility for creating appropriate and effective ways to develop systems to educate and hold men accountable.
Create systems of accountability to women in your community. Violence against women will end only when we take direction from those who understand it most, women.